Fic: Page Torn

[mayachain]

Title: Page Torn
Characters: John/Rodney, David Sheppard, the Millers
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~600
Summary: It never occurred to David that maybe he was supposed to be the one to reach out.
Notes: Title taken from here.

It's no surprise when John lets go of the President's hand as soon as possible, when there are a few extra inches between him and the other colonels when he steps back, a new gleaming medal on his chest. John doesn't like to be touched. David has always known this, has grown up seeing John shy away from people, relatives, friends, strangers who came too close. * * * From the first time his little legs managed a walk, Johnny used to follow Dave around. Curious and wide-eyed, he would ask to be taken places, to be read a story, to be allowed to play. David remembers complaining, remembers being frustrated at never having a minute to himself. He knows that their father chided the little boy from time to time, but more than Johnny's confused anger he remembers being told, “This is what happens when you become a big brother.” He remembers flinching whenever one of their mother's friends called them “cute”. * * * John doesn't like to be touched. David knows this, and if he's honest, he isn't that fond of touching people and being touched himself. He's too aware of the uncomfortable closeness it potentially entails, too conscious of what it might reveal. * * * When they were barely ten and only just still seven, Dave was allowed to go to his first summer camp. For six weeks, he was free from familial obligations, and, in his father's and most of the instructors' words, “experienced character building things”. When he eventually joined his brother at their grandparents', it took a whole day before Johnny would even say “Hi,” and ever since, he would insist on going on adventures all on his own. Dave didn't think too much of it then, head still too full of all he had done and everything he wanted to tell his parents. School started, where it seemed that Johnny finally made some friends, and the house was big enough that they didn't have to run into each other, now that Johnny had stopped spending time tracking Dave down. He still recalls the relief he felt at the time, so much relief that John had finally stopped clinging. * * * John doesn't like to be touched. David knows what it is like, understands having too many people want a piece of you, because you're Patrick Sheppard's son, because you're successful, smart, rich and beautiful. It isn't until David sees the way Jeannie Miller simply grabs John by the scruff of his neck, and more importantly, sees John expecting it, that it occurs to him that it may not actually be true. * * * Much as he doesn't like to think about it, David knows there must have been unpleasant things happening to John after he went to war. Their father never asked, and John certainly never told, but David knew the day he saw John become uncomfortable even with Nancy, leaning away from her even as they danced, only four months after their wedding. * * * He can do no more than stand there as Rodney, so careful of the military officials present, lowers his head in the bone-deep conviction that John will follow suit and have his hair touch his. He can only take a step back as a little girl – Madison, he recalls – comes at John at a full run in the knowledge that he will swoop her up, hug her tight, exaggerate his groans as he throws her into the air. He can only watch, speechless, as Kaleb Miller grabs John's wrist and claps his shoulder in a brotherly shake, gape as John returns the gesture freely, uninhibited – – completely unprepared for how much it hurts.

Comments

[spazlady2002.livejournal.com]

wow Take that David. You so should of realised that you pushed him away, so you should offer the branch.

Thanks for sharing this. This was very nice.

[danceswithgary]

Very nice look at the brothers.

[spikespet7.livejournal.com]

Well David it's true....becareful what you wish for....it might come true and it can sometimes bite you in the ass. It's good to see that John found the family that cares and he enjoys having them invade him family space.

Kimber

[raphe1.livejournal.com]

Wow, brilliant look at Dave. Sad, bitter, gorgeous. GLOMP!

[popkin16]

I liked this so, so much. ♥

[lerah99.livejournal.com]

I love this! I love how understated and realistic it is.
Poor David, who thought he knew and therefore was correct in his assumption that their distance was inevitable...
And now he's been proven wrong.

Thank you so much for writing and sharing this.

[mific.livejournal.com]

Lovely - conveys a lot in a short space. Nicely done.

[aqualegia.livejournal.com]

That's the what pushing people away will get you, David! I liked this take on the brothers' relationship.

[psyko-kittie.livejournal.com]

I like. Nice character piece for David.

[trystings.livejournal.com]

This is a pretty much perfect take on their relationship!

[almostnever.livejournal.com]

Very believable take on their relationship, I like it.

[fenchurch1.livejournal.com]

It always seems to work better when Dave is the older brother. Somehow John doesn't come over as the oldest in the show, even though JF is older than Dylan Neal. David comes over as having no time for his brother and yet John wants to have the grand reuinion that Rodney got.

This is excellent, but it needs to be LONGER!!!! (or maybe I'm just greedy for more of your writing!),
thank you!

[captain-tibbs.livejournal.com]

Oh this is beautiful! That last line......
A really interesting look into what made John the way he is with people; becoming that reserved untouchable man because close personal contact wasn't really something common in his house growing up - his father and brother being so stand-offish with him cultivated that "don't touch me!" persona.
But with people like Rodney and the Miller's, who've just stormed past any defences and tucked him in close to their hearts, a casual touch is openly welcomed.
And Dave witnessing this and having that personal revelation, makes this a poignant gem of a fic!
♥

[tetsubinatu.livejournal.com]

I loved this! Such a beautifully told moment.