Forty years, or three quarters thereof

[mayachain]

Title: Forty years, or three quarters thereof
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~1200
Summary: For his tenth birthday, all Severus Snape wanted was a real home.
Note: Previous parts of the birthday!verse (written 2008 and 2009) are here.

Forty years, or three quarters thereof January 9th, 1970 'I should have known better,' Severus thought bitterly to himself, the phrase circling endlessly around his head, should have known, should have known. He should have known, should at least have prepared himself for this possibility, but he'd let himself hope, had let himself be infected by Lily's optimism. He never even felt anything but excitement at the prospect, ever since his mother had first said the words, On your tenth birthday, your grandparents wish to meet you. Today should have been the best day of Severus' life. He was supposed to be welcomed into the fold of real wizards, not inexperienced children like himself or Lily, who did not know how to properly channel their abilities. Not sheltered - or perhaps not so sheltered - babies like the boy he'd seen when they'd arrived in Diagon Alley, bracketed by both his parents, ugly scars on his face. Not like his mother, who never even used her magic. His blood relatives. Disaster was too nice a word. He's got a Muggle face on him, that one. With that nose on his face, how can you ever hope to conceal he's a half-blood? Tomorrow, perhaps, he would feel up to sifting through the old schoolbooks the Princes had brought and left on the table when they had disapparated well before anyone had even ordered a cake. Now, it was all he could do not to set fire to them. Close your eyes, Lily had prompted, and Severus had thought of the impending end of his mother's exile, of his fathers spirits that would surely rise with his in-laws' acceptance, and wished with all his might, a home, a home, a home. Such a shame, Eileen. Such a shame. January 9th, 1980 'That was too close,' Severus cursed as he apparated into his laboratory, safe-guarded with enough spells that the persistent Auror couple stood no chance of following. Too close, and it was easier to focus on how he had only just escaped the reach of Alice Longbottom's wand instead of what he'd witnessed, what had happened because of him. There's nothing wrong with giving yourself a little treat, the Dark Lord had said, a caricature, Severus now saw, of a father figure, eyes glittering and all-knowing. Lucius tells me it is your twentieth birthday today. You work yourself so hard all the time, Severus, you deserve to enjoy the results of your efforts. Go on. How often had he wanted to poison someone? Thought about fully using his skills, fantasized about whom to target; even, after the Werewolf Incident, planned it out? Shivering even before he shrugged off his cloak, he looked the garment over carefully, muttering "Reparo, Reparo" until the slashes were gone, until there was no more evidence of Frank Longbottom's curses that had almost gotten the better of him. The empty street will give you a perfect view, and if only he had left as soon as he had cast the Dark Mark, the thrice-cursed Gryffindors never would have found him. Three half-bloods, former Ravenclaws, a Muggle friend and her blood traitor husband. Enjoying their evening, celebrating a belated New Year's dinner, never suspecting there might be something wrong with the wine. "Thank you for this opportunity, my Lord, it was most gratifying," he whispered hollowly, knowing that he needed to sound more sincere when the Dark Lord summoned him. But something else needed to be said, so he said it it into the dark and cold laboratory, "Today, Severus Snape destroyed a perfectly nice home." He did not deserve one. January 9th, 1990 Dear Lucius, Dearest Narcissa, it is with the utmost regret that I have to withdraw my company from this evening's soiree in your wonderful home. The regret weighs all the heavier on me for the inconvenience this presents to you, since the gathering is meant to be held in my honour. You'll never guess what popped up in my classroom this morning, Filius had confided during lunch. I could hardly believe it at first, I haven't seen it in such a long time! Young Montague, I am sure you have been aprised by his ostentatious father, is the most promising Chaser we have had in a generation. I do not yet have proof that it was Arthur Weasley's son who hexed him off his broom this afternoon - if only because using Veritaserum against students is a practice our esteemed Headmaster frowns upon. The Mirror of Erised! Dangerous, true, but such wonderful workmanship! The boy will be fine, but under the circumstances, it is hardly advisable for the Head of Slytherin to leave the school. You would - and should - both expect no less of me had I already young Draco under my care. I put concealment charms on it, obviously, it's hardly for the eyes of students, but it should still be behind my desk, if you wanted to sneak a look. I beg you pass on my sincerest regrets to your guests, and wish you a most pleasant evening in my absence. Yours truly, Severus neither heard nor saw anyone enter Flitwick's classroom, but he was not surprised to hear Albus behind him. "What is it you see, dear boy?" "Nothing of interest, Headmaster," he replied, voice just that bit too edgy to be believable, not that Albus would believe him anyway, damn him. "Absolutely nothing." January 9th, 2000 "Narcissa," Severus exclaimed in surprise when he entered the kitchen. 'Am I too early,' he wondered, but no, Draco had asked him to stay in the library until five, yet the house was empty, and the most-often absent lady of the Manor was sitting at the bare table, alone. They could be occupied with more important things, Severus supposed. Both Neville and Draco had their futures in front of them, and just because Severus had been looking forward to his birthday for the first time in thirty years did not mean either they or Remus and little Teddy actually had to spend time with him. Hoping the movement went unnoticed by Narcissa, Severus shook himself. He didn't believe they had forgotten, or made a joke of it. Not if the barely yet effectively conducted secrecy of the last few days was any indication. The day was still somewhat young, and there was no reason he shouldn't make tea for himself and Draco's mother in the meantime. "I was instructed to give you this," Narcissa spoke up before Severus could Aquamenti the kettle. She stood up from her chair gracefully, holding up a small, auburn cup between her palms. "That was Alice Longbottom's," he let out before he could stop himself, and Narcissa raised an eyebrow. "Yes, Neville told me it was." "It's a portkey," Severus realized, eyes widening as it dawned on him what the Manor-wide Silencios had to have meant, what Neville and Draco and Remus had done. Narcissa nodded, smiling a little sadly as she said, "I'm told my nephew thinks you've imposed on my hospitality long enough." "You live in France," Severus muttered, fighting the urge to run up to his room to check if his belongings had truly been cleaned out. Narcissa laughed, then delicately leaned up and kissed his cheek. "Close your eyes," she whispered, and the world began to blur as she pressed the cup into his hand. For the flip-side to January 9th, 2000, go here. For January 9th, 1999, go here.

Comments

[lore]

You know, we only get a few installments every year, but this has been an enduring series and I've really enjoyed it. Severus being sort of "kidnapped" into living with Lupin is just priceless, and a perfect gift for his 50th year.

*HUGS* Thank you so much for writing and sharing!

love, lore

[carolinelamb.livejournal.com]

this was beautiful! your portayal of severus and his inner monologues were perfect!

[iulia_linnea.livejournal.com]

Interesting. :)

[pythia-delphi.livejournal.com]

Really good progression. I particularly liked the way you conveyed his feelings on each birthday: disappointment in the first, guilt in the second, and regret in the third. I'm glad to see that Severus finally got his wish of a happy home.